Post by Blaise Zabini on Nov 19, 2005 19:51:04 GMT -5
The moon had risen and the dew just settled on the grass when Blaise snuck out. It was much earlier then he usually left, but something had happened that upset his plans. Typically on nights he couldn’t sleep, Blaise found sanctuary in the dark Forest. The forest was all hype and instead of fearing it, he loved it. Usually…
However, a letter had arrived this morning, telling of yet another untimely death of his mother's husbands. This one had lasted for a few years. Blaise actually respected - and had grown close to this one. It really was like losing his father all over again. Except there was a minor difference.
When his father died, he had been a boy, young and innocent. The string of events that would occur to break him, hadn't occurred yet and his heart was irreparably shattered by his loss. Unable to fit the pieces back together, the boy had sworn he'd just bury it all and be done with it. And he had. It wasn't pain he was feeling for this new dead ex-husband. It was anger.
He wanted to kill his mother.
Not that he was above actually doing it. It was quite possible. All the hell that she had put him through, she deserved much worse. She caused so much pain to so many people and didn't care. What if the reverse happened to her? What if someone tried to kill her? Would she change her ways? She didn’t waste a second thought on her son, entirely wrapped up in her own world, and where’d she get the next round of cash. Granted, he got enough money to live comfortably and go to school… but did she ever ask him about school or friends or why her husband was in his room? Nope… not once.
Blaise sighed as he realized the trees and nighttime air weren't as calming and distracting as he had hoped they would be. Finding a small clearing, he threw himself in the middle of it and pressed his face into the wet grass, inhaling deeply. Anything he could do to rid himself of his thoughts. It was so wrong to think about the murder of his own mother, but he felt so much better because of it. In a few years, after Hogwarts and proving his loyalty, he probably could do as he wished.
Slowly reason returned to him. His mother had been in some pretty tough situations herself. They both had. Though Blaise was willing to admit, he had to endure a lot more then his mother ever had to. She killed them before they got too far with her. Maybe some raised voices, possibly a strike here and there, but that was doubtful. But still, she must have been hurt to end up the way she had. And that was reason enough for Blaise.
Rolling over he turned his empty eyes to the sky, staring up at the endless void, feeling about as big as a grain of sand in the Sahara Desert. He startled himself as the warm drops fell from his eyes onto his cheeks before disappearing into the grass. Shocked, he wasn't able to stop.
It had been ten years since he had cried.
That didn’t mean he was going to start now. Angrily, he brushed the tears away and shut down all the emotions welling up inside him. Instead he felt just as he looked on the outside. Cold, empty and insignificant.